Passive Aggressive Shovelling
by spoodle monkey
Summary: Frank takes up passive aggressive snow shovelling. Cooper just wants him to come back to bed. FrankCooper xposted


A/N- Rated for language and suggestive themes.

Based on a man I saw on my way to school last winter, standing atop a pile of snow and shovelling into an empty drive way. This probably isn't what he was doing, but I like my version more.

For Katie cause I rarely get to see her and she is my Frank/Cooper muse.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own.

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><p>Cooper stands in the doorway, mug of coffee clutched in his hands to keep them warm, steam rising up from it in curling, wispy streams. There's a cool breeze going this early in the morning, picking up the loose bits of snow off the ground and swirling them around the street. A few people are out, shovelling their walks, climbing into their cars to head to work.<p>

It's his rare day off and he should still be curled up in bed beside a grumpy, retired Agent.

Instead his bare feet are threatening frost bite from where he's balanced on the door step wrapped up in a pair of sweat pants and one of Frank's old wool sweaters, watching the man in question.

He's fairly certain Frank has lost his mind.

Cooper continues to stand there and watch as Frank stands atop a large pile of snow, easily four or five feet high, and shovels snow from their drive way.

Directly into their neighbours drive way.

He's pretty sure Frank is muttering angrily to himself.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cooper finally calls out, curling his toes in an attempt to get the circulation going again. He's pretty sure they've turned blue but he doesn't want to pull his gaze away from the crazy man standing on the mountain of snow lest he fall, or do something even crazier.

Frank calls something back but with his back turned it gets swallowed up by the wind.

Cooper huffs and goes back inside, shoves his feet into the nearest pair of boots and wanders outside.

"What?" He asks once he's balanced precariously next to Frank on the mountain of snow. His coffee is safe inside in the hall and he misses it already.

"I said," Frank pauses in his shovelling and presses a quick kiss to Cooper's cold cheek. "What are you doing up?"

"I was looking for my life size heater." Cooper replies. "Who had disappeared on me; that doesn't answer my question though."

"What was your question?" Frank asks, distracted as he starts shovelling again. He scoops up a large pile and, with a slight manic look in his eyes, tosses it over the fence into their neighbours drive. From here Cooper can already see the growing pile. He's clearly been at it for a while.

"What the hell are you doing to Mr. Duvals yard?"

Frank grins, all teeth, and Cooper is reminded eerily of a shark going in for the kill.

"Woke up this morning and he'd tossed all his snow into our drive." He hefts another bunch over. "Fourth day in a row. Figured it was time for some payback."

"So you're inciting a snow shovelling war." Cooper says slowly just to be certain he understands what's happening.

Frank doesn't even pause.

"Yup."

"You're going to throw out your back." He points out.

"I'll be fine."

"And then you won't be able to do anything strenuous like one of Victoria's jobs," Frank keeps shovelling. "Or fucking me against the table."

Frank pauses.

Cooper tries hard not to laugh.

"Hell," he continues. "You're not that young anymore, so it would probably take a while to heal and we wouldn't want you to put any further _strain_ on it so that probably means sex is out of the option entirely."

Frank narrows his gaze at him, pushing the shovel into the snow and resting his weight on it as he studies the younger man. He knows exactly what Cooper is doing and the best part is, is that he's _letting _him. Cooper has him right where he wants him.

"What are you suggesting?" Frank asks and Cooper grins, sly.

"I'm suggesting that you come back to bed and let me warm you up." He slides a hand around the back of Frank's neck, curving his palm around his skull and tugs him in for a brief warm kiss with the barest hint of tongue.

"And then," he continues, pulling back only far enough to speak. "We sit down and plot out our revenge properly. I think two CIA agents can come up with something a little better than passive aggressive snow shovelling."

Frank barks out a laugh and gives him a light shove. Cooper slides his way down the pile (somewhat gracefully) and waits for Frank to grab the shovel and follow him inside.

"I like the way you think kid." The older man crowds him through the door way, stripping off his winter gear as he goes. "Now, let's get back to bed."

Cooper grins and races him back upstairs.

His coffee sits there for the next few hours, completely forgotten.


End file.
